Freedom

Your wings are not broken, sister

You’ve just forgotten how to use them

All these years of silently accepting,

Breathing through the hard times

Always breathing

Sometimes through tears so thick

It feels like they may flood

And you will be carried down stream

And lay stranded on their riverbank

Until they cease to fall

Until all the hurt has left your being

Until you are dry, barren,

Void of all emotion other than

Tiredness

A deep tiredness

So deep you can’t pinpoint its source

Maybe it started before you were born

Perhaps it’s the tiredness that carries

Your parents’ own frustrations and disappointments

Their grief and their longing

Maybe it began the first time you believed

His love to be conditional

That you are not wholly accepted as you are

That you are too emotional, too sensitive, too dependent

Too strong, too fierce, too independent

Perhaps its roots stem from your dreams of

Living in a house where love in action is a way of existing

And when you realised your home is no such place,

That the mountains you will have to climb for it to be the way you dream of,

Will take more energy than you can muster

You feel like giving up and walking away

Starting afresh in a new home untainted

It’s ok to stretch your wings, sister

Just a little at first

Till you remind yourself

How expansive they are

How powerful you are when you remember that you have them

Remember that they belong to you

And you can use them any time you feel the need

That you can strip off everybody else’s disappointment

Even your own

And strut with your head held high

And your bare feet nestled into the earth

So that Mother Nature herself cradles the soles of your feet

In her loving hands and gives you the spring in your

Spirit that you know to always be there

Spread your wings sister,

Feel out the kinks

Let them twist and stretch until they are so satisfied

That they fall to the ground in a

Soul affirming bow,

Namaste

For all that they are

And all that they know they can be

Humbled by their own strength and enduring patience

For they have been waiting,

Restlessly,

Then silently

Trusting that one day you will

Remember they are there

For you

Only

You

Your way out

Of yourself

Of the limitations of the reality you have created

The prison of choices you have made

They are your invitation to

Free yourself

From the false depiction

You have painted

They are the courage you need

To tiptoe to the edge of the cliffs

And open your heart

To be faced with only the complete unknown

The Ocean crashing and raging against the rocks below

Beckoning you to step closer

To feel its warm salty spray on your face

And know that you are not

His angry words booming through the walls of your house

And echoing through the crevices of your Soul

That you are not the confusion and dismay on your child’s face

As he witnesses yet another

Explosive exchange of hurt and disappointment

That you are not your mother’s failed dreams or promises

That you are not anything other than you

At all times

Authentically you

That all you need to do is stretch those wings, sister

Proudly,

Hugely

And enter that nook deep within you where only trust resides

Where kindness is built into the walls,

Stretching from room to room

Interwoven with thoughtfulness and care

Where you have nurtured such a warm environment that honesty flows,

Always

Where mirrors reflect only your true essence,

Goddess

And allow you to see yourself,

Goddess

It is time to release, sister,

All that you think you know

All that you have taught yourself to be

All the heavy weights you’ve been carrying

To put them down

And inch closer to the edge

Spread your wings

And leap, eyes wide open

Soar on the breeze of this moment

Into the only comfort you need

The present

The uncertainty

The beauty

Of being exactly as you are

Just BE -ing

Unapologetically you.

                                                                                    Emma Nathan

                                                                                          27.01.17

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3 thoughts on “Freedom

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